I decided to write the book as I sat outside the grand jury room waiting to see if the DA called me to testify during Patricia's proceeding. I sat there knocking away at the notebook trying to answer the question everyone asked and the question not everyone did.

            "Was she always this crazy?" and "How did you stay married to her for sixteen years".

            The honest answers are, "No she was not always this crazy" and "even so, it was not easy staying married to her".

            The Patricia I describe in the first two chapters of the book, troubled as she was, is not the lunatic we began dealing with in 2002 and are still dealing with today. Today, this very day.

            I wrote out for my attorney some of the highlights over the last five years. About a paragraph each, there were forty-two incidents covering six pages. Initially I left out the letter she wrote one of the children where she informed then she had 'learned to whack people' while in prison. I left out bizarre and poorly undocumented incidents such as the time I pulled onto our street in front of the school to find my estranged wife standing in the middle of said street while cars and children weaved around her dressed in a pink bathrobe and fuzzy slippers.

            You could not write a soap opera as crazy as our life. If the children and I did not make Patricia this crazy, what did? I will argue the Machine.

            Attorney, did I say attorney?

            Thirty-two days, count them-- thirty-two days after she returned to from whatever treatment program they sent her after prison, Patricia filed a petition with the Domestic Violence Court and received a temporary restraining order against me for alleged acts of Domestic Violence.

            The alleged acts of Domestic Violence?  A third party reports to Patricia that someone named Stephen is calling her and the only Stephen Patricia knows is me.

            First and foremost let me state I have made no attempt to call or to contact Patricia at all. For several dozen reasons, among them—

• Why in the world would I want to talk to Patricia? Am I going to talk to her about the children, the house, my job, or to gloat? I have not talked to Patricia for years and I am happy for it. I am not the type to gloat and teasing someone who tried to have you killed three years ago strikes me as a level of stupidity even beyond my ability.
• Talking to Patricia might void the no contact order in her Judgment and Sentence, Probation Order, or the January 9, 2004 Domestic Relations Order. I am not interested, no thank you. I realize Patricia has zero respect for an order of the Court but it is the only protection we have.
• I honestly believe contact with Patricia is detrimental to the children. All Patricia is to me is a representation of the Chaos and Evil of the last five years.

Despite a Court Order that did not allow Patricia to file without an attorney, Patricia filed for and received the temporary restraining order on June 18^th. She was suppose to take the paperwork over to the Sheriff's office, so they could serve me, but the Sheriff's office states the paperwork never showed up (Gee, a convicted felon not wanting to go to the place where she was taken on her arrest, imagine that).

Under circumstance not clear, Patricia acquired counsel and the counsel appeared at the scheduled July 2^nd hearing. Since there was no evidence that I had been served, I was not present. Neither was Patricia, but Patricia's attorney was present. They rescheduled the hearing and issued a second temporary restraining order with the admonition that Patricia better show up the next time.

The kids and I show up after lunch on the 6^th to find a business card from the Sheriff's office. They think their mother is dead or that she has done something stupid. Just a little stress on the Friday afternoon and it leaves me no choice but to tell them once I know.

I file a counterclaim alleging Patricia use of the DV system is itself abusive and for some mysterious reason Judge Jewell decides that pointing out this aspect of the Machine's work is not in the best interest of the Machine and summary denies the petition because filing false charges after false charges is not abusive.

I engage an attorney and we show up this morning along with an attorney representing Patricia. The charges are dismissed without a hearing because Patricia does not show up.

Patricia does not show up.

Grandpa Joe does.