Our daughter Jessica entered the world on March 26, 1993. I love my sons, but I grew up without sisters and always wanted a daughter. I picked out a name in high school, Christina Tinuiviel Avery. Tinuiviel is the name of Arwen’s great grandmother in J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings. If for nothing else, Jessica is grateful to her mother for avoiding the name Tinuiviel. Patricia and I argued over the name and finally settled on Jessica Rae Avery. ‘Jessica’ is a double bonus name. Jessica Atriedes from Frank Herbert’s Dune is a perfect example of the intelligent, strong, beautiful daughter I hoped for. Additionally, Shakespeare created the name ‘Jessica’ in an attempt to create a Jewish feminine name for Shylock’s daughter in Merchant of Venice. ‘Jessie’ was the father of King David.

            The doctor who delivered Glen died in a mountain bike accident a year of so after Glen’s birth. We went to one of his partners for Patricia’s pregnancy with Jessica. The same difficulties we experienced with Glen’s birth repeated with Jessica. The only difference was the doctor. By month seven, the doctor made clear that he no longer enjoyed Patricia’s company and when Patricia went into early labor in March he delivered the baby.

            Unlike Glen, Jessica was three or four weeks early. They doped Patricia to the point that she was unconscious when Jessica was delivered by caesarean. I held my daughter in my arms and carried her to intensive care. It was the last time anyone held her until her discharge from ICU. Patricia did not get to hold her until the day, a few weeks later, when they discharged Jessica. I knew Patricia well enough not tell her that I held Jessica.

            Simply, Jessica’s lungs were not developed. Her cousin Eli, born a few years later was a third her weight and over two months early. He went home well before Jessica. Now they give the mother a steroid shot that develops the lungs quickly.

            There is nothing positive about an ICU baby except for those that go home. I visited my daughter three times a day: before work, during lunch, and after work. Each time I scrubbed and put on hospital gowns. By the time Jessica got out my hands were bloody and raw from the scrubbing. I remember they shaved her head to put an IV in and I remember how silly she looked in the incubator. At twenty plus inches and over six pounds, she appeared twice the size of the other children in ICU.

            On top of everything else, there was an RSV epidemic and the hospital did not allow children to visit. Glen saw pictures but no other evidence of a sister. I will never forget his expression when he saw and held his sister for the first time. There are days when the two of them fight that I wish he would remember it.