I want to take some time and endorse a book I picked up at Page One the other day, Family Law in New Mexico Second Edition written by Barbara L. Shapiro and Antoinette Sedillo Lopez.

            The book is an easy read and comprehensive. My opinion is based on my extensive experience in the family court system in the second judicial district.

            The majority of divorces in New Mexico are completed without ever seeing a judge and with little of the complexity of my case. The couple works everything out and then sees a lawyer or file the paperwork on their own. This book can be an enormous asset to these couples.

            It can also help bring some cases back down to this level by introducing a rational third opinion into some of the arguments.

            For example, the concept of community property is poorly understood. I think this work does an excellent job clarifying what is hers and what is his. The same is true about spousal support and child support.

            The only advice I would have for the third edition is a chapter on what to do when everything goes horribly wrong.

            While statistically complicated divorces are a fraction of the divorce case load, the reality is more than a thousands souls are impacted by the horrors each year in this city alone.  The extreme cases end up in violence, sometimes the death of a child.

            The Family Court System is designed and geared toward the simple cases and handles the complicated ones poorly. Judges are kept in the dark, lawyers chase fees, guardian ad litems chase fees without any training, mental health professionals decide the future of children after only a few hours of study and rely on psychological tests congress outlawed for less important areas such as employment screening.

A simple example of where the expert’s inexperience in the complicated cases shine is completing the property settlement before custody issues are settled. We spent thousands of dollars negotiating based on the belief that Patricia would have the kids the majority of time. It is my belief, later supported by subsequent filings, that I was overly generous because my intention was to provide a home for my children. Woops, the custody evaluation comes in and suddenly the children I gave up so much to provide for were without a home. Thousands of more dollars spent and the conflict just fed Patricia’s hate. Woops again, and the seven thousand dollars we spent on the first custody evaluation is proved worthless before it can even be implemented and the children are with me 24/7 and I am living in an apartment while strangers live in the family home I am paying for.

            Another suggestion for refining this excellent work is advice on how to manage your costs, legal and otherwise. Family Court is very informal, motions can be simple and responses are not always necessary as the weight is covered in hearings. Too many divorces result in one of the parties in bankruptcy court. 

            Bifurcation is another area that seems more popular then many attorneys realize and the financial aspects are poorly understood. I could not get a straight answer from my attorneys on when the community ended and Patricia was convinced that she entered into her second marriage while enjoying the continued benefits of our community. In other words, as Patricia told her ‘hit man’ and subsequently during integration, she believed she was entitled to half of my continuing income after the bifurcation and her subsequent marriage because we did not have a final decree.

            That piece of professional ignorance almost got me killed. The community ended with the bifurcation only the division was left to be determined and allocated. A quick trip to the law library discovered excellent New Mexico case law on the subject (Mitchell v. Mitchell and Olivias v. Olivias). It did not surprise me to learn that the Mitchell case involved a CPA.

            To say the Family Court system has no responsibility for the horrible divorces is a lie adding to the sins committed against the children. The judges, lawyers, mental health professionals, and others add to the chaos as they all work to find a way out of the mess. More times then naught the best interest of children is loss in the attempt by the professionals to escape.

            At best the professionals making up the Family Court system are ill prepared to deal with the difficult cases. At worse they contribute to the horror via their greed, own agendas, or incompetence.

            Again, while there are too many for comfort, my case was exceptional. This book is an important work and should be read by everyone entering into Family Court.