It was November 2002 and I was making my third attempt to get Glen’s personal items out of the community home. Two previous times, with the unsuccessful help of the Guardian Ad Litem, we made the attempt only to have Patricia refuse.

This time all of the lawyers and judges were involved. During the divorce trial on November 15^th, the judge had finally forced Patricia to agree to the pickup. After her initial denial that Glen had anything at the house she admitted that his bed, dresser, many clothes, and other items were present. Patricia had no visitation with Glen at this time.

In the attempt to reduce stress and costs, I agreed to have only Patricia’s lawyer present to supervise the exchange (I had agreed to return various personal items of Patricia’s that I had inadvertently removed from the home when I left in February).

On the morning scheduled I show up with my parents and a rental truck to remove the items, I figured Patricia was not going to help me move the bed.

This was the scene we drove up to.

Patricia’s lawyer, Michael, was parked in his car across the street from the home.  Two men in suits were standing on the sidewalk between the home and myself.

Patricia was standing in the driveway, holding one of her dogs and pointing the dog toward me as I approached.

I approached the house to meet Michael in front of the two unknown strangers. My parents stayed away from the house and us.

One of the strangers identified himself as a sergeant with the Albuquerque Police Department and presented his identification without being asked.

He told me he was present to intervene and that nothing was going to happen today.

What struck me later was the way he said it. He got in my face, yelled at me, and ‘squared off’ against me.

I responded by telling him that this was a civil matter and that we were here under a court order and that Judge Jewel had put Michael in charge. If the officer thought a crime had been committed then he should act as he saw fit, otherwise he might have to explain his actions to Judge Jewel.

The officer’s attitude changed immediately and I swear to the Good Lord, the next words out of his mouth were “Mr. Avery, do you know if your wife has a mental health diagnosis?”

I later realized that his initial behavior had been a test, a final test, to decide if there was any truth in Patricia’s allegation of me as a man of domestic violence. If I had responded with anger or other strong emotion, he would have some doubts; but I responded with reason and respect while still arguing my points.

I also did not throw a fit when Michael chickened out and we, once again, did not get Glen’s stuff. We got it a few weeks later when State Protective Services removed the two younger children from Patricia’s care and the Special Master gave me an hour’s notice and a couple of hours to remove all of the children’s items.

I realize later what the officer had done and my respect for him grew. I think it is a fairly effective tool in his arsenal to deal with wife beaters and stalkers. Many of them would have responded irrationally as they are inclined to violence anyway. He later tried to intervene with Patricia during some of her crazy acts. He told me that they had a file on me several inches thick but Patricia’s allegations were always vague and often nonsensical. His experience said this was typical of those with serious mental illness and was in keeping with the bizarre story Patricia later told State Protective Services about me.

In February of 2004, Judge Jewell entered an order into our Domestic Violence case asserting that I had never been convicted of Domestic Violence and allowing me to recover my firearms as a conviction under the Women Against Violence Acts prohibits the individual from possessing firearms. I had given Patricia my word a couple of years earlier not have any firearms and wanted to get them back from my parents after her arrest. I have posted a copy of the order here.